SCRIPTURE
STUDIES
VOLUME SIX - THE NEW
CREATION
STUDY
XIII
PARENTAL OBLIGATIONS OF THE NEW CREATION
Great Obligations Attach to the Exercise of
Procreative Powers
—
Prenatal Influences
—
“Train
up a Child in the Way He Should Go!”
—
The Influence of Sunday Schools
—
The Confidence of Children
—
The Power of Suggestion in Child Training
—
Our Children in the Time of Trouble
—
Proper and Improper Amusements
—
Marriage of Children of New Creatures.
PARENTAL obligations are amongst the most momentous pertaining
to the affairs of mankind. The
power to propagate the human species, with all the possibilities connected
and associated with the being thus brought into existence, is a wonderful
one—the nearest approach of humanity to the divine power.
Indeed, it is the exercise of divine power by man as God’s agent.
The possibilities connected with the birth of every child extend in
opposite directions of advantage or disadvantage, good or evil, honor or
dishonor, to wonderful extremes. Surely
if mankind realized this matter from its true standpoint, it would lift
the begetting of children from the plane of a passion and a relaxation of
intellectual and moral principles to a consecrated plane, in which the
responsibilities of fatherhood and motherhood would be realized in a
manner and to a degree attained as yet surely by very few.
These thoughts of obligation should extend not only to the child,
whose mental and moral and physical characteristics are dependent upon the
parent, but also to the Creator who intrusted to humanity this wonderful
power of propagation, and to whom, as stewards, a reckoning, an accounting
for the use of this divine power should be expected to be made.
These feelings of responsibility are intensified as we begin to
realize that under the divine arrangement not only do the parents
influence the character of the coming child in
[page 520] the moment of its begettal, but throughout the period
of gestation. During that
period the mind of the mother, her thoughts, her moods, her sentiments,
are all being impressed upon the embryo child; and not only so, but at
such a period the mother herself is specially susceptible to the
influences surrounding her, many, if not all, of which are properly under
the care of the husband. If
the mother’s mind be kept bright and cheerful and her heart happy, these
will favorably influence the embryo; but if on the contrary she is
harassed, worried, troubled, beset with contentions and perplexities, this
distress will surely be impressed upon the embryo, giving a peevish or sad
or ill-tempered disposition for life. If the prenatal surrounding conditions be those of debauchery
and selfishness and meanness, is it any wonder that the embryo so
impressed and the child born with such impressions should be mean,
ignoble, and with tendencies toward debauchery, selfishness, etc.?
We are not to be understood as claiming that all the evil in the
world is directly traceable to a parental legacy of sin and weakness
bestowed upon the child in the period of gestation, nor even that it is
all traceable to this and to the subsequent training of the child to
manhood or womanhood. We admit that it is possible that some bad men and
bad women were comparatively well born and well reared, even as Satan was
created perfect and sinned wilfully under the Creator’s tuition: yet we
are seriously inclined to doubt if many of the bad characters ever had
these two important assistances toward uprightness.
We are in full agreement with the Scriptural declaration of a
general rule: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is
old he will not depart from it.” How
many parents, more or less disposed to question the truthfulness of this
scripture, remember that the time to begin to train a child is at the
moment of its begettal, and that a poorly begotten child needs to have
trained out of it the weakness and foolishness and sin which were
impressed upon it before birth?
We are not wishing to intimate the possibility of the birth [page 521]
of a perfect child under present fallen and imperfect
conditions. On the contrary, we remember well the declaration of the Lord,
“Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean?” We recognize that it
is true of all that, “I was born in sin, shapen in iniquity, and in sin
did my mother conceive me,” and are merely urging that, whatever the
world may see or not see on this subject, the Lord’s people of the New
Creation should realize the possibility of alleviating in some measure the
stains and weaknesses which belong to the fallen race.
They at least should see to it that their children are born with as
noble characters as they can possibly bestow upon them under the divine
arrangement. Fallen they will
still be, and a Savior they will still need, and without him they could
never attain either to perfection or to worthiness of eternal life.
The natural man may perceive this truth to some extent and may
profit by such suggestions as these but not to the extent that the New
Creature may profit.
Strive how he will, the natural man is still natural—of the
earth, earthy—and, hence, can impress upon his wife, and she upon the
embryo, only such thoughts and sentiments as they themselves possess, and
these are necessarily deficient in respect to the very highest
sentiments—the spiritual. While the mind of the New Creature grasps the
spiritual hopes and promises and ideals, and properly seeks to impress
these upon so many as the Lord our God shall call by his truth and
grace—seeks specially to develop children of God—nevertheless if for
any reason they enter matrimonial relations, and consider it wise to
propagate a human family, they have great advantage in this respect over
the natural man and woman. They
have loftier ideals, grander hopes, nobler aspirations, purer joys: and
realizing the influence of their thoughts and emotions and sentiments upon
the embryo child, such parents would be in a position to do for the child
very much more indeed than could other parents for their offspring.
The world has gained a selfish wisdom somewhat along these lines.
For instance, those interested in fine stock,
[page 522] cattle, horses, sheep, etc., not only give careful
attention to proper mating, but, additionally, especially when endeavoring
to breed fast horses, give careful attention to the mothers during the
period of gestation. Their
every need and comfort are provided for, their stables are clean, bright,
well lighted; and without knowing to a certainty to what extent the mare
may appreciate pictures, her stable walls display pictures of horses
racing. Moreover, while in foal she is taken where she can see horses
in competition, racing, etc. All
this is designed to produce in the mother an ambition, the impression of
which reflected upon her embryo foal will be helpful, advantageous to
speed, and thus financially and otherwise profitable and pleasing to the
owner.
Human parents have no such financial interest in their offspring;
but they have or ought to have a far deeper and an unselfish interest. Their hopes and ambitions on behalf of their child should be
to see them well endowed as respects mental and moral qualities.
And although the New Creature cannot hope to beget his child to a
spirit nature (since this is not his province), he could hope to give him
such an earthly inheritance of good nature as would be closely in sympathy
with things spiritual. Such
certainly should be their desire, aim and hope. Many children have been begotten by honest, God-fearing
parents and have been correspondingly blessed, and this influence,
favorable to a high human standard, has gone wherever the Gospel of Christ
has gone. Hence, we have
higher types and standards more generally prevalent today in civilized
lands than in heathen lands, notwithstanding the fact that Christian
people generally have but imperfectly appreciated their privileges and
responsibilities in connection with their children.
The sum of the argument is this: If the New Creatures mate, and
purpose the bringing forth of offspring according to the flesh, they
should school their minds and desires so that the moment of begettal
should not only be one of mutual love and respect, but one of reverence
for the Creator and of appreciation of the God-like power of procreation
bestowed upon them. It should
be, additionally, an [page 523] occasion of prayer for the divine blessing; and every
day and every hour subsequently, the interests of the child should be
conserved in all of life’s arrangements.
It should not be considered a mere incident of life, but the most
important thing. It would be
a special occasion for the exercise of the graces of the spirit, which
should previously have been cultivated to a considerable extent—faith in
God and in his promises, hope, trust, patience, brotherly kindness,
meekness, gentleness, love. These,
of course, prevail at all times amongst those who are of the New Creation,
but they should be on guard at such a time because of their realization
that they are influencing, stamping, impressing character upon another
generation.
So far as possible the home should be bright and cheerful, the mind
directed to such channels as would be advantageous, reading, writing,
mathematics and the practical duties of life.
Heart culture should also be remembered—cultivation along lines
in fullest accord with principles of justice, love and wisdom, with a
continual recognition of the Lord in all of life’s affairs; with loving
confidences as between husband and wife, and kind and benevolent feelings
toward the world in general. With
benevolence, justice, love, associated with all of life’s affairs, the
conditions would be most favorable; but such a condition could scarcely be
imagined without the fullest concurrence of the husband and without his
careful provision and oversight; for, as already suggested, the mother at
such a time is the least able to take the oversight of matters, even when
they are those which properly belong to her own domain in the family.
Then, also, the husband must be the more careful to lead in
conversation in the right manner, to provide suitable and nourishing
mental as well as material food, and above all to stir up his wife’s
pure mind in regard to the Lord and his glorious plan and all the features
of the divine character, its wisdom, love, beneficence, justice and power.
Many Christian parents might reply to this, that they are not so
circumstanced in life as to have all the conveniences and comforts and
freedom from household and other cares
[page 524] at such a time.
We answer, that we have merely marked out the ideal, and that it is
for each of the Lord’s children to seek to attain as nearly as possible
to this ideal. But the New
Creature should never forget that in this as in all the other experiences
of life, the Lord by his grace and spirit makes up to him for all earthly
disadvantages and lacks. Such
an one, unfavorably circumstanced in any degree, should the more earnestly
in prayer seek to have the heart filled with the peace of God which
passeth all understanding, and to let that rule continually.
One result of this peace in the heart is that, however much
disorder may unavoidably surround the mother, the child would surely enjoy
a larger measure of peace and love than otherwise—more than its brothers
and sisters born under other circumstances would have.
It should be less nervous and peevish, more composed and peaceable,
more disposed for righteousness in principle and in conduct.
“Train
Up a Child in the Way He Should Go”
“He
that spareth his rod, hateth his son.” (Prov. 13:24)
“What
son is he whom the Father chasteneth not?”
“If ye be without chastisement...then are ye...not sons.”
Heb. 12:7
Nothing is further from our intention than to urge indiscriminate
and frequent use of the rod in the training of children.
We have cited these scriptures, however, to show the mistaken
position of those who hold that corporal chastisement by parents, even
when necessary, is wrong. The
home that is ruled
with the rod must of necessity be an unhappy home. The homes of the New Creatures should be ruled by love not by
the rod. The rod is to be
kept merely as an occasional necessity for enforcing the rules of love;
and when it is administered it is to be wielded by the hand of love and
never by the hand of anger. The
New Creatures, governed by the spirit of a sound mind, learn gradually
that order is one of heaven’s first laws, and hence that it should be
one of the first elements and characteristics of the homes of the New
Creatures. [page 525]
Order, however, does not of necessity mean absolute quiet, else the
wilderness and the silent cities of the dead would be the only places
where order would rule. Order
may mean joy as well as peace, happiness as well as rest, liberty as well
as law. Order means law—with New Creatures the Golden Rule and the
Law of Love governing the head of the house and his helpmate, as well as
governing the children, making of the parents ensamples to the children in
all the Christian graces. Law,
even the Law of Love, means rewards and punishments, and in the family the
parents have the dispensing of these.
According to their realized weaknesses they, in turn, need
direction from the Heavenly Father that they may glorify him not only in
their own hearts and wills, but that their homes shall be earthly
ensamples of the homes of the righteous, the homes of those who have the
mind of Christ.
Their rewards for their children should be in the provision of such
comforts and blessings as circumstances, under control of a recognized
providence, may permit. Their
punishments may be more or less severe according to the wilfulness of the
child, but never according to the standard of justice, never in the
attempt to mete out to the child the full measure of what its conduct
might justly demand—because we are not under justice ourselves, but
under mercy, under love, and are to show mercy, not only in our dealings
with others, but specially in our dealings with our own children, whose
imperfections and blemishes are, doubtless, traceable in a greater or less
degree to ourselves and our forebears.
Love may sometimes punish by the refusal of a kiss, as it may
sometimes reward by the giving of a kiss; it may sometimes for a season
banish the unruly one from the company of the obedient and from the
pleasures provided for them. The
Law of Love may sometimes even exercise the rod of discipline to the
extent of denying supper or of giving merely the necessities, bread and
water, and withholding some of the additional comforts and luxuries; or
may sometimes wield the literal rod of chastisement to enforce
[page 526] obedience, and thus preserve the order and blessings
of the home, not only for the obedient children, but also for the
chastised one, whom it hopes thus to bless and bring into full accord.
It is scarcely necessary to admonish the New Creation that they
should not use angry or harsh words to their children; for such know that
language of that kind is improper to any one under any circumstances.
On the contrary, their “speech should be with grace,” with
love, with kindness, even when reproving.
Nor is it necessary to suggest to the class we are addressing the
impropriety of a hasty blow, which might do injury to the child not only
physically—perhaps permanently injuring its hearing—but also wound its
affections, develop in it a fear of the parent instead of love, which
should be considered the only proper groundwork on which the obedience and
order of the home are built. Furthermore,
the hasty blow or cutting remark would be wrong, would indicate a wrong
condition of mind on the part of the parent—a condition unfavorable to a
proper, just decision of the matter along the lines of the Law of Love.
The parent owes it to himself as a part of his own discipline, as
well as to his child, that he shall never inflict a punishment which he
has not sufficiently considered, and coolly and dispassionately found to
be not more, but less,
than justice might properly demand. He
owes it to himself also that the child shall fully understand the
situation, the necessity for the preservation of order in the home, that
the happiness of the home may continue to the blessing of all its inmates;
that the child understand thoroughly also that the parent has no anger
toward him, no malice, no hatred, nothing but sympathy and love and the
desire to do him good.
Earthly parents may attempt such control, but they will lack an
important help in its prosecution; for not having submitted themselves
fully and completely to the heavenly Father and his control and his Word,
they cannot point, as would the New Creature, to the divine Law and their
accountability, and their acknowledgment of and endeavors [page 527]
to be obedient to the same.
Christian parents have—if they will use it—an immense leverage
of advantage in dealing with their children.
They should read to their children, from the Word, the divine
sanction of parental authority—the divine requirement that a parent
shall train up a child in the way he should go; and additionally he should
point out the necessity for this—because we all are fallen and unable to
come up to the divine standard, etc.; that all these means and corrections
are necessary as helps to the counteraction of evil tendencies under which
we have been born. It is a
great mistake to suppose that children’s minds do not appreciate these
principles, do not appreciate right and wrong and the appropriateness of
just penalties for wrongdoing, as well as of rewards for welldoing.
Many parents forget to look backward and to note at how early an
age they themselves learned to appreciate principles of righteousness—to
appreciate the parental care which neglected not to reprove, to correct,
and even to chastise as seemed necessary.
Let us recall, too, how keen was our sense of justice when we were
children—how we mentally approved parental discipline when we understood
its motive to be for the development of character, but how we resented it
if we did not see a principle of justice, if we were reproved or otherwise
punished for things of which we were not guilty, or if we were punished
beyond a reasonable chastisement comporting with the offense.
Not only is it the best and surest way of controlling a child thus
to direct its mind along the lines of right and wrong, truth and
falsehood, justice and injustice, but this constitutes also a training of
the child in character, when it is most
susceptible to parental influence. It
is character-building at a time when the conscience and judgment of the
child are in their formative condition, and when it properly recognizes
the parent as its sole lawgiver. If
this work of character-building be ignored in infancy, the work is many
times more difficult in future years, besides the disadvantages that will
accrue both to parent and child and neighbors and friends in the interim. [page 528]
It is all-important, then, to notice that the training of a child
does not consist solely in teaching it respecting its outward deportment
in politeness, cleanliness, obedience, etc., but further, and indeed
chiefly, in the establishment of right principles in the heart—proper recognition there of the
mind of the Lord as being the only standard of living, both for old and
young. The Golden Rule, the
Law of Love, of generosity, meekness, patience, gentleness, forbearance,
should be inculcated as respects the child’s relationship to other
members of the family, to playmates, etc.
The child that is taught to be selfish, or one whose natural
selfishness is not brought kindly to his attention (though not in the
presence of others) and lovingly reproved and corrected, is missing a most
important lesson at the most opportune moment.
The parent who neglects such an opportunity for giving instructions
and corrections of the mind and judgment, as well as of outward conduct,
is not only missing the most favorable opportunity in respect to his
child, but is allowing weeds to grow in the heart garden where only the
graces of the spirit should grow; and is thus laying up more or less of
trouble for himself in dealing with that child throughout future years.
Many of the heartaches and tears of well-intentioned parents over
the waywardness, wilfulness, selfishness and “wild oats” of their
children might have been spared them had they done their duty by those
children in infancy. Furthermore,
such parents lose a great blessing in their own experiences; for it is
undoubtedly true that the parent who is properly training his child in
unselfishness, love, obedience, reverence to God, helpfulness to his
fellow-creatures, etc., etc., will be getting valuable experiences for
himself—growing in grace, growing in knowledge and growing in love,
while endeavoring to teach these principles to his child.
He will learn, too, that the child will expect to find him illustrating in his daily conduct and in his
relationship to God and to the members of his family, and to his
fellowmen, the principles he seeks to inculcate in others. This will make
him the more careful of his own words, his
[page 529] own conduct; and such carefulness, such
circumspection of all the little affairs of life, public and private, will
assuredly develop in such a parent more and more of the graces of the
Lord’s Spirit, thus making him more and more acceptable to the Lord, and
preparing and perfecting him for the Kingdom.
The atmosphere of the home, however poor, should be one of purity.
Absolute purity in thought, word and deed we know to be impossible
in our present conditions, just as material purity is absolutely
impossible where the air is full of soot and dust.
But every Christian home should be as nearly absolutely clean as
possible—as free from the outward soil and filth as circumstances will
permit, and as free from moral obliquity and defilement as the imperfect
earthen vessels can be made. Every
child should be able to look back upon its home, however humble, however
scantily furnished, as a clean place, a house of God, a holy place.
He should be able to look back and in memory recall the voice of
prayer at the family altar, the kind words of father or mother on various
occasions, and the general spirit of peace and restfulness through
contentment and submission to the divine providence.
He should be able to sense the sweet odor of love pervading the
home and associated with every member of it, manifesting itself in
meekness, gentleness, kindness, helpfulness.
A child bred to and reared in such an atmosphere of love may be
expected to desire to please the Lord and to obey him from the earliest
moments of his consciousness; and from the time he reaches ten to twelve
years of age he should be encouraged to consider the propriety of a full
consecration to the Lord—to remember that his standing before the Lord
during the period of immaturity of judgment is through the parent, but
that in proportion as maturity of mind is reached the Lord expects a
personal consecration. Should
such a child thus trained, neglect or refuse to make consecration to the
Lord, we may be sure that the home influences would still continue,
although
[page 530] when years of maturity had been reached and no
covenant with the Lord had been made, such an one may properly hesitate to
approach the throne of grace—hesitate to claim of the Lord the blessing
he has promised to those who are his,
because he has refused to become his.
Nevertheless, to such there will still cling a precious memory of
the seasons of approach to the throne of grace and of divine watchcare
over the home of infancy and over themselves, and there will continually
be a longing for the divine protection and for the privilege of
approaching the Creator with the cry, “Abba, Father,” and the
realization of relationship to him. Should such an one become a parent, he
will instinctively feel a desire to train his children as he was trained,
and all these influences will gradually draw more and more upon his heart,
and the strong probabilities are that at least by that time he will
consecrate. In any event, the
influences of a godly home will have been with him, a holy protection from
many of the excesses under which otherwise he might have fallen.
Contrast such a home, with its sweet odor of love, kindness,
patience, gentleness, with the home in which the Lord’s Spirit is not
manifested—the home in which selfishness is the law, in which the child
notes the quarrels between the parents, and how each seeks his own at the
expense of the other, in which the child hears little but chiding,
complaining, faultfinding, angry words, harsh sounds, etc.
These become contagious amongst the children, and they in turn
quarrel over their little affairs, speak angrily to each other, and keep
the household in perpetual turmoil. The continued practice of selfishness
in the home develops this organ in the mind and in the conduct of the
child.
If in an angry voice the parent calls it “a little rascal,” and
the feelings of the child, at first hurt by such reflections against its
character, become toughened, it gradually learns to glory in being a
little rascal. When first it
hears the angry and impatient mother exclaim, “I’ll thrash you within
an inch of your life!” or “I’ll break your back!” no doubt there
is a measure of terror conveyed by the words to [page 531]
the heart of the child, but it is not long in
learning that these are idle threats, from which it has comparatively
little to fear; and gradually as it learns that the civil laws of the land
would not permit the parent to do it serious violence, the childish mind
concludes that the parent had the will to do it evil, but simply lacked
the liberty. From such a
little mind much of the original instinct of love is driven out.
It finds its parent equally untruthful in respect to
promises—that the promises are frequently given without the slightest
intention of their fulfilment. Thus
the child is taught to lie, to threaten, to promise, to deceive others in
respect to its real intentions. Is
there any wonder that such a child grows up a hard character?
The wonder, rather, is that between the bad training, the
indifferent training and no training at all the civilized world is not a
great deal worse than it is.
Children
Born in Justification
In all these matters the New Creature has a decided advantage over
all others in respect to his children.
They should, to begin with, be better born, better endowed at
birth. And this prenatal
endowment should be fostered from the very earliest moments of infancy. The babe of a few days is pretty sure to be nervous and
irritable and distressed if the mother is so; an influence goes to the
child, not only through the mother’s milk, but telepathically,
electrically, from her person to the child.
What a general advantage, then, the New Creature has in the
indwelling of the Spirit of the Lord, with its peace, love and joy; and
how favored is the infant under such care!
Humanly speaking, how great are its possibilities as compared with
the possibilities of others in respect to noble manhood and womanhood;
and, speaking from the standpoint of the Lord’s Word, how great is its
advantage when we remember that the children of the Lord’s consecrated
people, like themselves, are under the supervision of divine providence in
respect to all of their affairs; that the children of believers, too, come
under the terms of the promise that “all things shall work together for
good” to them!
[page 532]
It is not difficult to see that the children of New Creatures have
a tentatively
justified standing with God, in virtue of the relationship of
their parents to him and to them. As
the disobedience and alienation of Adam and Eve from the heavenly Father
brought alienation to all their offspring, so, too, the reconciliation of
the Lord’s people, through the merits of the great atonement, not only
brings them back to harmony with God, but their children as well are
counted justified through their parents, and on account of their parents,
up to such a time as the child shall have an intelligence and will of his
own. The question is more complex, however, when one parent is the
Lord’s and the other is a stranger and alien from him; but the Apostle
assures us that in such a case God counts the child as his, through
whichever one of its parents is the Lord’s disciple.
The influence of the believing parent, the consecrated parent, is
counted as offsetting and overruling the influence of the unconsecrated
parent, so far as the child is concerned.
On this subject the Apostle says:
“Else Were Your Children Unholy
[Sinful, Condemned].”
“The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the [believing] wife,
and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the [believing] husband [in
respect to the subject under consideration, viz., the offspring of their
wedlock]; else were your children unholy [sinners under condemnation,
unjustified, unrelated to God, aliens from his care and blessing]; but now
[in view of this provision of divine grace] are they holy [that is, in a
tentatively justified state with God, through which he may treat them, not
as enemies].” 1 Cor. 7:14
The question of the proper training of children may be a difficult
one, but not too difficult for the Lord to manage; and, hence, the parent
who has become a Christian may expect the Lord’s grace proportionately
to abound in respect to his affairs, and should seek the more earnestly
for the wisdom
[page 533] and help that come from above, that he may be rightly
able to discharge his duties under the most trying circumstances.
The Lord’s grace is sufficient for us in every condition.
The fact of the one being a New Creature, and the other an
unbeliever, or unconsecrated, does not alter the divine arrangement in
respect to the headship of the family.
This still devolves upon the husband, and if a New Creature he must
direct in respect to the affairs of his family as best he is able under
the circumstances, and guided by the promised wisdom from on high.
If the wife be the New Creature, her soundness of mind, devotion to
principles of righteousness, her gentleness, meekness, thoughtfulness,
carefulness, should make her such a jewel in the family, should cause her
light so to shine before her husband, that he might take pleasure in
giving her practically the full control of the children, for which he
would discern her to be specially adapted. Any rule or authority she should exercise, however, would be
delegated by her husband, who, whether saint or sinner, is the responsible
head of his family.
Likewise the husband, letting his light shine, should expect that
ere long his wife, as well as his children, would discern his difference
from irreligious men, his spirit of love, his gentleness and helpfulness,
and spirit of a sound mind. Nevertheless, if these results, which ought to
be expected, do not come—if the greater the faithfulness the worse the
treatment from the unbelieving partner—even to the extent that a
separation might be necessary, let us remember that the Lord’s counsel
forewarned us that such might be our experience; saying, “Think it not
strange concerning the fiery trial which shall try you”; and again, “A
man’s foes shall be they of his own household.”
And again, “I have not come to send peace on the earth but a
sword.” My message,
although it is a message of peace and blessing in the present time,
frequently results in strife, because the children of darkness hate the
light, and because many of them, under the deception of the Adversary and
the weaknesses of their
[page 534] own fallen nature, will wage a continual warfare
against it. Think it not strange, consider it a part of your trial, endure
it as a part of the divine will, until the Lord shall open up a door of
escape.
Some who have become the Lord’s consecrated people, members of
the New Creation, appeal for advice, saying: “In my early Christian
experience in the nominal Church I was mistaught.
I was led to understand that when I got religion, got saved, I
needed nothing more, but simply to go regularly to Church and pay my dues. I got little or no instruction respecting the necessity for
rooting out sin and selfishness from my own heart, and receiving in its
stead more and more of the Spirit of the Lord, with its wealth of love and
all the inner graces associated therewith.
I gave any extra time and energy to helping my husband in his
business, and to striving to get up in the world, and was left in
ignorance of the meaning of my begetting of the Spirit, and that I should
be cultivating a newness of mind which would be striving less and less for
the earthly things and more and more for the heavenly character and graces
and power and growth. During
this time my children were born. I
presume they inherited these traits of mine which I was cultivating at the
time I was carrying them, and after their birth I realized that they were
sadly neglected as respects what I now see to be the proper training the
child should receive, the proper duty of a parent who is a New Creature in
Christ Jesus. Now my children
are wild, wayward, selfish, disobedient.
They not only lack reverence for God, but also lack reverence for
me, and my religious views. What can I do with them?
I realize the Lord’s forgiveness, through Christ, for my ignorant
failure of duty toward them in the past.
I realize, too, that I am merely reaping what I sowed, and that my
present experiences are only a just retribution for my carelessness of
duty in the past. Oh, where
was my Christian sense? How
devoid I was of the spirit of a sound mind, and where were my religious
instructors and guides, who not only mistaught me respecting the divine
character and plan, but who did not even instruct [page 535]
me respecting the simplest of natural duties—my
parental obligations? Alas, I
perceive that I spent my money in their support for that which was not
bread, for that which satisfieth not—temporally or spiritually! But now what is my duty?
What course should I pursue? How
may I rectify so far as possible my neglect of the past?”
Our reply to such inquiries is that in this as in other matters the
Lord’s people should not sorrow as those who have no hope.
The Lord, undoubtedly, will be pleased to find us regretful for
having failed of duty in the past, and he no doubt will be pleased to have
us ask his forgiveness for such shortcomings, and to have us promise
greater faithfulness henceforth in seeking for and pursuing our
obligations toward those dependent upon us.
He would surely be pleased to have us take present experiences with
unruly children with patience, with forebearance, as a part of that
chastisement for sins of omission or of commission in respect to their
training; and thus received, these trials may serve for our polishing and
preparation for the Kingdom.
As for the duty of such a parent toward such children, it would
unquestionably be to begin by teaching them the lessons they should have
been taught in infancy, concerning responsibility toward the Lord, the
principles of right, of justice, of love toward each other and toward all.
And this instruction should be given with great love and forebearance and
patience, which would be a notable lesson to the child of the power of
grace in the parent’s heart. According to the age of the child and other
related circumstances—the extent to which wrong principles had become
rooted, etc.—results should be waited for with patience; and such restrictions as seemed absolutely necessary should be applied
with gentleness and consideration and explanations. Parental authority
should be established kindly, not rudely.
Children who have been in the habit of ruling the household should
not be expected to become good and obedient children instantaneously.
Wisdom from on high should be sought in respect to the details of
the home arrangements and government, for no outsider is competent
[page 536] to understand thoroughly all the affairs of the
family of another, nor to give specific directions respecting its proper
government.
Two principles should guide: First of all, love for the Lord and
for the children, and this love should be guided and directed by the Word
of God; and secondly, the Word of God, as the source of authority and
instruction, should be continually appealed to.
Furthermore, all parents should learn to treat children with
consideration. Whether they
be children properly trained or otherwise, they should realize that the
parent respects their consciences and their judgments, and endeavors to
deal with them in harmony with these elements of character.
Especially as the child reaches a condition of manhood or womanhood
should his or her reason be appealed to, and in the same proportion force
and corporal chastisement should be abandoned.
The principle of justice, to which we have already referred, is to
be found to some extent in almost every human being, and especially if the
sense of justice is found to cooperate with selfishness.
Thus, when the age of manhood or womanhood is reached the child
instinctively feels that he has passed a line, and should no longer be
treated as a child, but as a companion; should no longer be commanded in anything, but
requested; should no longer be required
to give a strict account in detail of all moneys earned, but should be
permitted a larger discretion and personality than previously. Wise, just,
loving parents should not attempt a violation of these rights of maturity;
but rather seek from that period onward to deal with the child as with a
younger brother or sister—as adviser and best friend.
Good parents are sometimes unwise and unjust in this respect, and
take advantage of the authority which the child has recognized up to this
time. They ignore its new
estate of manhood or womanhood, and attempt to perpetuate the
imperativeness of parental authority as before; and these sometimes meet
with a measure of success, but never, we believe, to their own real
advantage nor to the real advantage of their children. They know, as well
as does their child, that they are
[page 537] taking advantage of the docility of the child, and
that if the child would set up a rebellion, matters would speedily be
adjusted differently. They
should consider that their course is prejudicial to the child’s real
affection for them. He sees
this evidence of selfishness and injustice in the conduct of parents of
whose sentiments he had previously thought differently.
Filial love is thus sapped at its very roots, and the parents are
apt to learn the mistake of such a course before they die, even if it
succeed temporarily. We do
not mean to imply that the obligations of the child toward the parent
cease when the years of maturity are reached.
Quite the contrary. We
hold, in harmony with the civil law of the world, that a child is
obligated to the maintenance of the parent so long as the parent shall
live, and the child shall have the strength to provide the necessaries.
Our argument is that while, prior to maturity, the parent had full
control, after maturity the child has a personality and individuality
which should be recognized and appealed to.
It is the duty of the child to make provision for the parent, but
properly appealed to, the provision should be the more promptly and
lovingly made. The obligation
of the child to aged parents for their support corresponds exactly with
the responsibility of the parent for the care and reasonable support of
the child in infancy and immaturity.
The parent who has done justly and lovingly by his child will
surely rarely be left to want while that child shall have strength to
provide.
While considering the duties of parents toward the children,
various questions arise respecting the proper amount of education, the
reasonable restraints as respects the kind of reading and information with
which the mind is stored. We are of those who appreciate highly the value
of an education; and yet we believe that great wisdom should be exercised
in respect to what constitutes an education.
Education is like polish. Almost
any stone may be made to look beautiful by careful polishing, but careful
polishing is not alike valuable or helpful to all stones.
In the case of a diamond or a ruby or other precious stone,
polishing is absolutely necessary to the development of the latent
qualities [page 538] of the stone; without the facets, the glories and
brilliancies of the stone could not be appreciated nor shed their luster.
But the same polishing bestowed upon a cobblestone from the street would
be a waste of energy; worse than that, it would make the cobblestone too
valuable, too nice, for use as a cobblestone.
Moreover, it would be less fit for its duties as a cobblestone
after being faced than if it had been let alone, or merely chipped in a
general way, to make it fit its place.
And so we perceive it is in respect to education, the polishing of
the mind with a “classical course” in college.
Some would be benefited by such a course, while others would be
injured. Who has not seen men
so educated that they could not occupy the place in life for which their
natural talents fitted them? They
were over-educated, and, like the man in the parable, they could not dig,
and to beg they were ashamed, and for anything else unfit.
If in the Lord’s providence the parents found that they had a
child of very brilliant mind, and if that providence guided their affairs
so that financial and other considerations opened the way for a collegiate
course to such a child, they might well consider whether or not these
indications were the Lord’s direction in respect to their duty to the
child, and should follow their convictions.
Nevertheless, in sending him to college at the present time they
should feel a great trepidation, a great fear, lest this outward polish in
the wisdom of this world should efface all the polish of faith and
character and heart which they as the parents and proper instructors of
the child had been bestowing upon it from infancy and before.
The Lord’s people of the New Creation should learn to appreciate
the education of heart and character and faith in God as a superior
education in every respect to anything that could be attained in the
schools of this world — that the “wisdom from above, first pure, then
peaceable, easy of entreatment, full of mercy and good works,” is more
to be desired than all the wisdom of earth.
They should consider well whether their child was so thoroughly
rooted and
[page 539] grounded in character, in principle, in loyalty to
the Lord and his Word, that the infidel tendencies of the schools of our
day, and their rationalistic teachings called Higher Criticism, Evolution,
etc., could never displace the well-grounded faith in the Lord and in his
Word. Indeed, the danger is
so great that we would rather be inclined to be content with such
education as could be obtained in the public schools and high schools or
preparatory schools.
We write with full consciousness that to the worldly minded this
advice is foolishness or worse. Nevertheless,
we have learned to view matters from what we believe to be the divine
standpoint, and recommend that all of the Lord’s consecrated people
shall endeavor in this and in all matters to seek this standpoint—the
Lord’s view of this matter. We
might add, further, that in the strenuous times in which we are living,
with the rush and bustle and nervousness of our day, the person who spends
his life until twenty-one years of age in school, being polished for the
activities of life, has missed another kind of schooling that is attained
by the boy who, finishing his high school course at, say fourteen or
fifteen years of age, has a further course of training in business of some
kind, “climbing the ladder.” By
the time he has had six years schooling in practical business, the
probabilities are that he will be much better able to cope with present
conditions than the youth who has spent the same number of years under
college training.
As for play: One of the chief advantages from play is the
pleasurable exercise connected with it, for it is undoubtedly a fact that
exercise taken with pleasure is much more profitable than exactly the same
exercise would be if taken as a drudgery.
By some unknown chemistry of our systems the mind and its moods
have to do with all the functions of life. Our happy moods cooperate best
with all the forces and functions of nature for the upbuilding of our
systems and the repairing of its wastes.
But it is a mistaken idea that insists that that which is useful is
a drudgery and only that which is useless is a pleasure, a play.
We are of the opinion [page 540] that a wrong thought connected with this matter has
led many reasonable people to cultivate playfulness and idleness when, on
the contrary, they should have been resisting the natural impulses of the
fallen nature in these directions. The kindergarten is a movement of
comparatively recent times, in what we esteem to be a very right
direction—the making of instruction pleasurable to the child.
And all subsequent pleasure, favored by the wise parent, should be
somewhat along the same line—nothing should be approved that is merely a
waste of time and energy.
Relaxation and recreation should be secured chiefly through change
of occupation, rather than through idleness or useless exercise.
The little girl takes pleasure in dressing her doll and caring for
it, and “playing house.” The
little boy “plays shop,” and with sand, etc., as substitutes, he makes
imaginary dealings in tea and coffee and sugar and potatoes; or he
“plays horse,” teamster, or imagines himself a preacher or a
missionary or a schoolteacher or a doctor.
All such plays are in the right direction, and should be encouraged
in the little ones. As they
grow older they should be drawn from these to consider it as a part of
their recreation to help keep the home in order or to assist in the real
store or shop with their parents or guardians or others. If they be taught
to take pleasure in usefulness, helpfulness to others, financially or
otherwise; if they be taught that idleness is a sin and a shame, a
discredit to any person and a waste of valuable opportunities, they will
be in a proper attitude to face the duties of life with pleasure, and not
to envy those who waste both time and money in looking at a ball game, or
in participating in something equally foolish and profitless.
Economy of time as well as of means should be inculcated from
infancy—not with a view to cultivating selfishness, but an economy in
accord with the divine will that nothing be wasted.
The Master, after feeding the multitude, commanded that the
fragments be gathered and not wasted, thus indicating his mind in respect
to all affairs, that there be no wastefulness; that we recognize a
responsibility
[page 541] toward him for every moment, every dollar, every day;
not a responsibility which would keep us in fear, but a responsibility
which delights to note the divine will, to be as fully in accord with it
as possible, and which realizes that such a course is pleasing to the
Lord, and, therefore, may be thoroughly enjoyed.
The
Proper Exercise of the Child-Mind
As the child grows and realizes how much there is in the world to
learn, he should be encouraged to read, but from the first he should be
taught to discriminate wisely between the “chips” of fiction and the
“apples” of knowledge. He
should be shown that every chip stored away in his mind is worse than
valueless, an injury or encumbrance, besides having cost valuable time,
which might have been used to advantage in storing up knowledge, shortly
so necessary in the proper discharge of the duties of life.
He should be encouraged to read such books as would give
information, and not novels. He should know considerable respecting the history of his
native land, and have a reasonable knowledge of the remainder of the
world. He can secure these
through histories: we do not mean merely the histories which give the
order of kingdoms and battles and generals but more particularly such
works as show the social, moral and intellectual development of the ages
past, and of the world as it is today.
In a pleasant and kindly manner the child should be shown the
importance of such information as a feature of education for his
future—his reason and judgment should be appealed to, and thus his will
enlisted in favor of such educative reading, and in opposition to all
weedy, trashy, dreamy literature, that will do him harm and leave him
unprepared for the duties of life.
The
Scourge of Evil Suggestions
The following appeared in a criticism of a novel recently, in the
columns of the Church
Standard. It
illustrates the worst side of the lesson we would inculcate:
“One of the most awful thoughts connected with this [page 542]
subject is the permanence of foul impressions in the
human memory. Years ago—no
matter how many, and whether in this country or another need not be
told—a gentlewoman lay upon her deathbed.
She was still young and had lived a more than usually sheltered
life. In every act and word she had been purity incarnate.
It was not believed that she had ever had an opportunity to hear
one foul syllable in all her life. Yet,
in her delirium, she poured out in the hearing of friends and attendants a
torrent of obscene imprecations at which they stood aghast.
Where she could ever have heard such words they could not imagine,
and they never learned. But were they therefore to infer that she had
secretly loved and gloated over them?
Not so. The true
inference is this, that, having heard them in some evil hour, she had
utterly detested them, and that, in her very effort to forget them, she
had so fixed them in her memory that they abode with her until the hour of
death. That is not only the
charitable view, it is the just view, and it is the reasonable view.
But it would not always hold.
When the mind and the imagination have been opened and kept open
for many hours or days to the reception of unclean thoughts, and the
contemplation of obscene pictures, who shall tell the depraving effect of
such mental association? Of
all the evil things in this world of many evils, we know none so awfully
appalling in its subtlety and permanence of corrupting influence as a bad
book written by a man of genius.”
The religious element of the child’s mind requires special
training, and in this the Christian parent should be his tutor. In the
present confused condition of the world on religious subjects, and their
more advanced attitude as respects common school and public instruction,
any attempt to teach any kind of religion is sure to be in opposition to
the prejudices or conscientious convictions of some of those interested.
Hence, justice demands that public schools be freed from all religious
coloring, instruction, forms and ceremonies. Notwithstanding our reverence
for the Bible as the Word of God, we believe that the fact that the Jews
are [page 543] opposed to the teachings of the New Testament, that
many under the influence of Higher Criticism are opposed to much of the
Old Testament as well as the New, that some infidels, skeptics, Buddhists,
Theosophists, etc., are opposed to the Bible entirely, while others
disagree with the common translation—in view also of the fact that all
of these classes are taxed for the support of the schools and required to
take advantage of them—it would be both just and wise to omit religious
exercises in the schools, and ignore the Bible as a religious book,
intruding it, if at all, merely as an ancient history, rather than give
offense to so many who do not agree with us.
In view of our recognized reverence for the Bible as the inspired
Word of God, this suggestion may possibly seem strange to some; but we
believe it to be the proper course, in harmony with the Golden Rule. True, we may be in so small a minority that our influence, if
we chose to exert it, would be powerless, nor should New Creatures
consider it their duty to become advocates of this, any more than of other
moral reforms. All New
Creatures have a higher, a grander mission in connection with the
development of the New Creation, and can, therefore, well afford to leave
all such moral reforms in the hands of the world for the present, until
the Kingdom comes. Nevertheless,
it is eminently proper that we should have the spirit of a sound mind and
fullest accord with justice, even though no suitable opportunity for
expressing our sentiments on this subject shall ever occur.
In any event, surely six hours a day for five days in the week, and
for less than six years in a lifetime, is quite little enough to be
devoted to the numerous lessons in secular matters which are crowded upon
the children of our day. This appropriation of time for secular study
leaves to the parents, and their chosen spiritual guides, quite an
abundance of time for imparting whatever kind of religious instruction may
seem best to them. Out of 168
hours of each week secular studies surely deserve all of the thirty hours
[page 544] per week appropriated to them—especially in view of
the fact that the strenuous times in which we live frequently hinder the
child from getting more than three years of such training.
The
Influence of Sunday Schools
The Sunday School has become a great institution throughout
Christendom. If it be
considered in the light of a children’s social club, which draws them
together once a week and directs their minds out of the ordinary workday
channels and in a general social and religious direction, it might be
esteemed that the Sunday School has accomplished considerable in the
world—especially for the lower classes of society.
As for the effect of Sunday Schools upon the children of believers,
we regard it as injurious. We
are aware, however, that such a sentiment will be thought extreme until
our reasons are fully appreciated. They
are these:
(1) The Sunday Schools have been injurious to Christian parents, in
that they have led them to consider themselves relieved of the parental
responsibility placed upon them by the Lord.
The Sunday School teacher is often thoroughly incapable for such a
responsibility, often a novice as respects children and their proper
training—seldom one who professes entire consecration and begetting of
the holy Spirit. Such a teacher is given the place of the parent in respect to
the most important of all parental duties.
The loss experienced by Christian parents, through this
arrangement, is almost incalculable.
It is a recognized principle in spiritual things that he that
watereth others is himself watered. And so the parent who diligently
instructs and guides his children in moral and spiritual matters not only
confers a blessing upon them, but receives a great blessing in connection
with the service himself. This blessing Christian parents of today are missing, because
of having unwittingly departed from the divine arrangement.
(2) The Sunday School is a decided disadvantage to the children of
Christian parents, because they do not get from the Sunday School teachers
the kind of instruction which
[page 545] the intelligent and conscientious parent could and
should give.
(3) The Sunday School arrangement is reacting disadvantageously
upon both parent and child from another standpoint: it is causing the
children to lose respect for their parents, and is cultivating thus a lack
of parental dignity on the one hand, and of filial reverence on the other.
Undoubtedly it has much to do with the present-day condition of the
so-called “Christian world,” in the matter of disobedience to parents,
family insubordination, etc. The
religious organs of the human mind lie on the top of the head, and should
be the dominating ones when they are active and properly developed.
Veneration is one of these, and it needs directing.
If the child sees that the parent venerates God and his Word, and
is instructed from this source, he has before him an object lesson which
should be valuable to him throughout life, going down in turn to his
children; but if he sees the parent’s veneration turned from God and his
Word and directed toward a clerical class, so as to receive supposed
divine messages through them, and without the exercise of reason or the
study of God’s Word, the influence upon the child is that of
superstition and subordination to priest-craft—an unhealthy condition as
respects spiritual development.
If in addition the child be sent to a Sunday School teacher to
receive instruction respecting the Bible, the lesson to the infant mind is
that the parent is incapable of giving this instruction; and that as the
parent is instructed by a clergy of a supposedly superior rank, if not of
a different nature, so the child is to consider his Sunday School teacher
from a somewhat similar standpoint. The
entire effect is to rob the parent of the child’s esteem and reverence.
On the contrary, the child who has been properly taught from the
Scriptural standpoint, that God has spoken through his Word, and that he
has arranged that some of his children shall assist others in the
expounding and understanding of the Word, and that the parent is one of
these instructed ones, and a fully authorized priest of God in his [page 546]
own family, to teach—the appointed teacher of his
own family—that child unconsciously attaches a religious reverence to
the parent as God intended. And
thus the divine arrangement would give that parent a larger measure of
wholesome influence over his child while life shall last. Furthermore, the parent, after having inculcated the
Scripture lessons, after having pointed out from the Word of God the
divine standards of life, of character, of thought and word and action,
and the Golden Rule of life—such a parent would find himself greatly
strengthened in his own practice of the teachings of the Word.
He would feel bound to exemplify his own teaching, and would
realize that even infant minds are able to make applications of these
religious rules to the affairs of daily life.
Such a parent would find himself seeking to live nearer and nearer
to the standard which he proclaims as the divine one; and in case of
failure in any special degree would get a blessing from making a
confession of his failure before those cognizant of it, even if they were
his own children. Thus
all—parents and children—would learn more and more to appreciate the
divine standard, and to look to the Lord for mercy and forgiveness; and
thus even occasional shortcomings of the parent might become to the child
permanent lessons in humility and contrition and submission to divine law.
(4) Evidently many make as great a mistake in respect to the proper
functions of the Sunday School as in respect to their thought that the
Lord and the apostles erred in not establishing the Church in its present
sectarian condition—in imagining that in dividing the Church of Christ
they have accomplished a work of wisdom; that greater results are attained
through denominationalism and creed divisions than would have been
obtained had the Lord’s plan been strictly followed, viz., “One Lord,
one faith, one baptism,” one Church.
The Sunday School as originally started was proper enough.
It began as a “ragged school” in Gloucester, England,
[page 547] in 1781, A.D. Robert Raikes, editor of the Gloucester
Journal, a Christian man, employed four Christian women to teach
the children of from ten to fourteen years of age reading, writing,
sewing, etc., from 10 A.M. until noon every Sunday; and on Sunday
afternoon to teach them the catechism and take them to church. From that small beginning the great Sunday School work of the
present time has developed. The
plan was evidently a good one, and not at all out of accord with the
institutions of the Lord and of the apostles.
It only came to be out of harmony with these when it displaced the
Christian parent as the preceptor of his children.
Our advice to every member of the New Creation is that, whatever
the mistakes of the past in respect to neglect of parental
responsibilities as the religious teachers of their own children, they
should begin to recognize and fulfil this duty at once—the
circumstances, etc., varying with the ages of the children, and with the
degree of insubordination and parental disrespect which they may have
already taken on, which should be plucked up gently, gradually, lovingly,
with the remembrance that the fault has been largely that of the parent in
the neglect of a divinely appointed responsibility. Neither we nor others
are wiser than God, nor should we or others presume to improve upon the
general principles laid down by the Head of the Church and the twelve
apostles whom he appointed to be our instructors and guides.
Hence we are not to reverence or perpetuate institutions of men,
however they may have become intrenched, and however grand and imposing
may be their appearance and their claims.
They must all be judged by the one standard—the divine Word. If they agree not with the Lord’s Word it is because there
is “no light in them”—they are not of God. Isa. 8:20
The
Confidence of Children
If the confidence of the child in the parent have its roots in a
recognition of the fact that the parent is a member of [page 548] the Royal Priesthood, a child of God, and that the
parent has fellowship with God through prayer and is instructed by God
through his Word—ministers being merely assistants in the understanding
of the Word, etc.—and if additionally, the spirit of love and its
various graces of meekness and patience and kindness pervade the home and
flow through its various channels, and if the parents seek and exercise
the wisdom that cometh from above, pure, peaceable, merciful, the
child’s confidence will naturally rest in that parent in respect to all
of life’s affairs. Then the many questions naturally presenting themselves to
the opening mind—religious, moral, secular, social and physical—will
all be carried most naturally to such a parent.
Such questions should be expected and invited, and should be given
wise and respectful answers, according to the age of the child.
Confidential questions should never be treated lightly nor
confidences broken. Many a
parent forfeits the future confidence of his child by making light of its
sentiments or secrets. We do
not mean that all questions should be answered in full (regardless of
age); a very partial answer may be wisest sometimes, with the suggestion
that a full explanation of the matter will be given later—perhaps
setting a date—as for instance, “I will explain the matter to you
fully when you are thirteen years of age if your mind and character then
seem to be sufficiently developed to make this the proper course.
You may come to me with the question then, and in the meantime
should dismiss it entirely from your mind.”
To the rightly trained child this course will at once commend
itself, and in any event it should understand that the parent’s word is
positive, that it had not been given without mature consideration, and
that once given it must stand, until some further information on the
subject should alter the judgment of the parent.
A proper observance of the Lord’s words, “Let your yea by yea,
and your nay, nay,” would save many parents much trouble, and greatly
promote the general peace and order of the household.
From
[page 549] earliest infancy the child should learn obedience,
and that without a repetition of the command.
But this in turn implies a recognition on the part of the parent of
his responsibilities, and a desire on his part to grant all the reasonable
requests of his children, so far as his circumstances will permit. Love,
wisdom, and justice must combine in the parent in order to make his power
and authority valuable to the home and all of its members.
The
Power of Suggestion in Child Training
Few recognize the importance of the human will
in respect to health and sickness, joy and pain, obedience and
disobedience, right doing and wrong doing—indeed in respect to every act
and word and thought of life. And
the child-will is specially susceptible to impressions and suggestions
while the child-mind is opening to the affairs of life, and the
foundations of its character are being laid.
Suggestion and mind-impression stand related to clairvoyance,
hypnotism and the subtle influence exercised by Christian Scientists—but
we are advocating only those suggestions which are truthful, helpful,
strengthening to the child’s will and in full accord with the divine
Word, and no more.
The Bible is full of suggestion—all proper preaching is in the
nature of suggestion—that selfish and sinful thoughts and acts bring
divine disfavor and react to our disadvantage; but that loving thoughts,
words and deeds yield blessed fruits to others as well as to ourselves for
the future as well as for the present.
Mark how the Apostle, after pointing out the results of wilful
sinning to be Second Death, turns and declares suggestively, and therefore helpfully to many: “But we are not
of them that draw back, but of those who believe to the saving of their
souls.” (Heb. 10:39) The suggestions of Christian Science are, on the
contrary, false—“There is no sin, no sickness, no pain, no death”;
consequently also no redemption, no Savior, no restitution.
There is a wide difference between such false suggestions and the
proper ones which God’s Word and [page 550] God’s messengers present, viz., a suggestion of the
Truth—of God’s love and merciful provision in Christ for the full
recovery of all who willingly obey him.
Applying this law of good and truthful suggestion
to his child is the secret of a parent’s success.*
Some parents apply the principle continually without being aware of
it, and they are the successful parents.
For instance, the mother who every morning greets her child with a
cheery face and voice, gives her child a happy
suggestion, good for it both mentally and physically. While dressing it, her little talk about the pretty wee
birdies and about the big sun looking in at the window and calling all to
get up and be good and happy, and learn more lessons about God, and to be
helpful to each other, are additional profitable suggestions;
whereas a complaint about “another scorching day” would be a
suggestion of heat, discomfort and discontent, breeding unhappiness.
—————
*Employers, managers, superintendents of
penal and reformatory institutions—in fact every one can profitably
apply this principle of good and true and noble and honest suggestion to
those under their influence and to their own minds.
Indeed many of the most successful in life are already practicing
it, but unconsciously. What
are hope and laudable ambition but mental suggestions?
If, instead of sunshine, there is rain and a gloomy outlook, it
will only make matters worse to think of the day gloomily and to suggest
gloomy thoughts to others. Rainy
days have their blessings for us as well as for others, and our minds
should be quick to note these and to pass them along by suggestion to
companions. The mother should
anticipate the child’s disappointment by calling its attention to the
beautiful rain which God has provided for giving the flowers and trees and
grass a drink and a bath to refresh them, that they may be bright and
cheerful to us and yield their increase; and provided also for the cattle
and for us to drink and bathe and be clean and happy, and praise him and
love him and serve him. Another
helpful suggestion can perhaps there be introduced, viz., that this will
be an opportunity [page 551] for wearing storm cloak and heavy boots, and how
thankful we should be that we have these and a rainproof home and school.
Or the suggestion can be given that, “My little boy and girl must
take good care to avoid mud and water puddles, so as always to look neat
and tidy, and neither track mud into the schoolhouse nor into the home.
Pigs like the mud and have little sense about anything, and
therefore must be kept in a pen; but God gives us reason and power to
appreciate the beautiful and the clean. Therefore to copy after pigs and
lower animals in uncleanness, etc., is to dishonor ourselves and our
Creator and tends to degradation. It
is honorable for anyone to get dirty in some useful and necessary
employment, but no one should get dirtier than necessary nor take rest or
ease until he had cleaned up.” We
need not point out how profitable these suggestion
lessons would prove—not only to the child but also to the parent.*
Discontent, one of the serious evils of our day, would find little
to stimulate its growth in a family in which all were intent on giving
happifying suggestions to themselves and each other.
—————
*The parent who thus greets his or her
little child must of course have first cultivated happy suggestions in his
own heart; and this being true, it follows that such good and happifying
suggestions will not be confined to the children, but will likewise flow
out to the wife, husband, neighbors, employees, etc.; and even the dumb
animals will be blessed by it. It
is possible for the “natural”
man or woman to practice this to some extent, but surely only in those
begotten of the holy Spirit of the Truth the Love of God can be expected
to realize success in the highest measure in this new
life, which begins even here under the reign of Satan to scatter blessings
which ere long under the Kingdom of Messiah shall “bless all the
families of the earth.”
The same method should be adopted in the guidance of the child’s
dietary in sickness or health. Never
should the child have aches or pains suggested,
for the mind will almost certainly fasten upon these and tend to aggravate
any weakness or pain, nor should aches and ailments be made the topic of
conversation—especially not at table, where every thought and influence
should be cheerful, healthful. [page 552] The good suggestion should be given early and be oft
repeated: “Is my little boy feeling happy this morning?
Does he love papa and mamma and sister and brother and doggie? Yes,
that’s right—I thought so! Is he hungry for some nice breakfast?—some nice porridge
with sugar and milk and cracker and bread and butter and jam?
Now we must remember not to eat any cucumbers today—nor unripe
apples; these give my little boy the stomachache.
Instead we will have something else for him specially good for him. Won’t that be nice?
There will be corn on the table today, but that would not be good
for my little man, and so when the dish passes he will say, ‘No, thank
you!’ He wants to be well
and strong as God wants him to be and as papa and mamma desire to see him.
That will be a good lesson in self-denial, too, and papa and mamma
will take pleasure in seeing their little boy (or girl) learning this
great lesson, so necessary to true manhood and womanhood.
God wants all Christians to practice self-denial in respect to sins
and in respect to everything which would hinder his cause in any degree.
And even worldly people all recognize that the person who is a slave to
his appetites is pitiably weak and unmanly or unwomanly.
Now papa and mamma will be watching to see how strong is the will
power of their little boy and we feel sure he will succeed bravely.”
How highly God appreciates self-control is shown by the Scripture
statement, “Better is he that ruleth his own spirit [will] than he that
taketh a city.” Prov. 16:32
On moral questions lessons by suggestion are equally potent for
good or evil. Let us
do evil, is a powerful incentive to evil deeds.
Let us do good, is a powerful
incentive to well-doing. Hence the right and the wrong, the true and the
false, the noble and the ignoble, should be frequently appealed to every
day, in everything—the true, noble and right being shown in their true
grandeur, as approved not only by our Lord and Creator, but also by the
noblest and best of men and women, whom alone we should emulate. The
child-mind, thus taught early and persistently to admire [page 553] the noble and the true, has a bulwark reared in his
mind against mean and dishonorable conduct in general.
If never sanctified by the Truth, if never begotten of the Spirit,
he has deeply laid the character needful to noble manhood or womanhood,
and if sanctified and begotten of the Spirit, he or she will have the
larger opportunities for successful service, both in the present and the
future life.
In the event of the child’s disobedience and hence its need for
reproof or correction, it should be admonished from the standpoint of
sympathy and confidence in its good intentions.
“I know that my little girl whom I love so much and endeavor
continually to make happy, and to train as the Lord would approve, did not
willingly disobey me. I am
sure this disobedience was rather the result of following the example of
others and not sufficiently exerting her will to do as mamma told her to do.
I believe that this time I shall forgive you and not punish you at
all, except that tonight I will give you no good night kiss—just to
impress the matter upon your mind, my dear.
Now you’ll try still harder next time to exercise self-control
and do as I direct—won’t you, dear?
I am sure you will!” Next
time take the matter still more seriously, but never question the
child’s proper desires or intentions.
“I am so sorry that my little daughter failed again.
I do not doubt your good intentions, dear, but I am sorry to see
that you do not exercise your will
power in the matter as I am sure you could do, and as I earnestly hope you
will do in the future. It is
necessary, my child, that I do my duty toward you and punish you, though
it would be far more to my pleasure to commend you.
I trust I may soon be enabled to rejoice with you in your victory
over this besetment. The matter affects far more than is directly involved
in the disobedience; it affects your entire future, for if you do not now
learn to say ‘No’ to temptation you will fail also in the more
important and weighty questions of life as they present themselves in the
future. But I am confident
that my love and confidence and instructions will yet bear fruit.
And remember, my child, that our very defeats, as in [page 554]
this case of yours, may become helps to us, if we but
set our wills the more firmly for the right. We learn to be specially on guard at points where we find by
experience that we are weak. Let
us bow before the Lord and ask his blessing, that this failure may be a
profitable lesson, and ask his assistance in laying it to heart, that your
conduct may be more pleasing to him when next you are assailed by
temptation.”
All suggestions should take into consideration the Lord—“The
fear [reverence] of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Scripture text
cards in every room in the house should continually remind parents and
children and visiting friends that the Lord’s will is the only standard
recognized, that the Lord is cognizant of all our doings and affairs, and
that God is “for us,” his newly begotten ones, and for all who are
seeking righteousness in humility.
Our
Children in the Time of Trouble
Those of the New Creation now living who recognize the fact that we
are in the “harvest” time, that the separation of the “wheat” and
its gathering into the “barn” is in progress, and that ere long the
great time of trouble will be upon the whole world, and especially upon
nominal Christendom, feel a deep interest in their children, and a desire
to arrange for them as wisely as possible in that time of trouble.
In view of the fact which the Scriptures make prominent, that the
trouble will extend to all classes and involve all institutions of the
present time, financial, social, religious, political, it would not be
reasonable for us to expect that the children of the New Creation would be
miraculously exempted from these troubles: nor need we think to find a
place on earth where they would be isolated under natural conditions.
When the time shall come that men shall cast their gold and silver
into the streets, and they shall not be able to deliver them (Ezek. 7:19;
Zeph. 1:18), gold and silver, bank notes and bonds evidently will be of
little value, and will fail to procure either protection or comforts or
luxuries. If we look away, then, to country places, where we
[page 555] might suppose that food at least would be obtainable,
we have the intimation of the Scriptures that the distress of those days
will affect the country places as well as the cities: “There shall be no
peace to him that goeth out nor to him that cometh in, for I have set
every man against his neighbor.” Zech. 8:10
There is just one promise which seems to hold during that time of
trouble, and it appears to be a general one, applicable to all
who are meek and lovers of righteousness. This class should include all
mature children of the consecrated ones, who have been rightly taught in
the precepts of the Lord, rightly instructed out of his Word.
The promise reads, “Seek meekness, seek righteousness; it may be
that ye shall be hid in the day of the Lord’s anger.” Zeph. 2:3
Christian parents sometimes feel loath to leave their dear ones,
even though full of confidence that they themselves would be with the Lord
immediately they should pass through the veil—that they would be changed
and partake of the powers of the First Resurrection, and be with the Lord
and all his holy ones and share his glory.
The new mind is sometimes thus hindered, and made anxious in
respect to the members of the family left behind—desirous of continuing
with them for their counsel, assistance and guidance.
Such should realize that having given their all to the Lord, in
accepting them the Lord accepted all of their proper interests; and that
they may wisely commit to his loving care every earthly concern.
As they more and more learn of the lengths and breadths and heights
and depths of love divine, and how ultimately the benefits of the great
redemption shall extend to every member of Adam’s race, they will gain
the greater confidence and trust in the Lord in respect to their dear
ones. Additionally, such
should remember that they themselves, on the other side the veil, will
have still as good an opportunity of watching over the interests of their
loved ones as they now have, and a much better opportunity than now to
exercise a protecting care over them—a providential guidance in their
affairs under [page 556] divine wisdom, with which they will then concur
absolutely.
What, then, is the best provision possible for the New Creation to
make for their children according to the flesh? We answer that the best
provision is in their proper training. This, as already shown, would
include a reasonable education in the common branches, and a particular
training and instruction in matters pertaining to God—in reverence for
him and his Word, in faith in his promises, and in the cultivation of
those characteristics pointed out in the Scriptures as the divine will,
the Golden Rule. Such
children, if left without one dollar of earthly wealth, are rich; because
they have in heart and in head and in molded character a kind of riches
which neither moth nor rust nor anarchy nor any other thing in the world
can take from them. They will
be rich toward God, as the Apostle expresses it, and as again he declares,
“Godliness with contentment is great gain,” great riches.
Earnestly striving by the grace of God to thus properly equip and
qualify their children for every emergency—both for the life that now is
and that which is to come—the New Creatures may feel comparatively free
from all concern respecting temporal interests, remembering that the same
Lord who has provided things needful and expedient in the past is both
able and willing to continue his supervision and provision, adapted to all
the circumstances and conditions of that time as well as this—for those
who love and trust him.
Proper
Amusements
Mirth and humor are elements of our human nature, too often
educated out of all proportion to the more serious and useful qualities. Babies are spoiled by being kept in a constant excitement of
amusement until their contentment is destroyed and they will cry for
amusement. This thought of
amusement continues during childhood, when the child should be
entertaining itself investigating the affairs of life and asking
explanations of its parents or of books.
Desire to be amused thus cultivated, in due time craves the theater
[page 557] and the nonsense of the clown.
Members of the New Creation should from first to last train their
offspring along opposite lines—to be actors in the great drama of life,
to deprecate shams, and to seek to perform as great acts of usefulness and
benevolence on the world-stage as their talents and opportunities will
permit.
Marriage
of the Children of New Creatures
We have already noted the Apostolic injunction to the New
Creatures, that those who marry do well, but those who marry not do
better. This advice, however, is not applicable to their
unconsecrated children. Concerning
the latter the Apostle writes: “I will [advise], therefore, that the
younger women [of the congregation but not of the Church—believers, but
not consecrated or sanctified] marry, bear children, guide the house, give
none occasion to the Adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Tim. 5:14
Many of the New Creation we believe err seriously, though
unintentionally, on this subject. They
realize quite correctly that in the majority of cases marriage not only
brings increased responsibilities but bitter disappointments and sorrows
and heartaches. But if the
sons or daughters have reached marriageable age and have not given their
hearts in marriage to the Lord, neither will they be prepared to see the
wisdom of following the Apostle’s advice—given only to the New
Creation—that it is only better to marry “than to burn” with
uncontrollable desires.
Let us remember that God provided marriage for the natural man and
woman—Adam and Eve—before sin entered the world, and that although the
marital relation may be abused, as can every other proper thing, and
although it is generally terribly abused, nevertheless this is not the
fault of marriage, but of its abuse.
“Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the [marriage]
bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Heb.
13:4
It is but natural that grown children should be disinclined to take
the advice of even the best of parents on this
[page 558] subject—the whole trend of nature is in the
opposite direction; and besides, they have the example of their parents.
If, neglecting the Lord’s counsel that they surrender to him,
they conclude to learn the lessons of life by experience rather than by
precept, the sooner they begin the better. Many of life’s lessons can
best be learned by marital experiences; and to this end it is preferable
that the newly married be thrown as much as possible upon their own
resources—that is, that they be encouraged to start a separate home of
their own, etc. They will
thus learn the more quickly to appreciate self-reliance, fortitude,
patience, mutual forbearance and cooperation.
Under what the Apostle designates “the present distress” (1 Cor.
7:26), we would even favor what would be considered early marriages. The man at twenty-one and the woman eighteen we would
consider preferable in some respects to riper ages, before habits of
thought and conduct have become too fixed.
The married couple should twine about each other; hence, pliancy of
sentiment is desirable—especially on the part of the female, who should
accept as a partner only such an one as she could reverence and look up to
and, so far as recognized principles would permit, she would be pleased to
yield to. Besides, the
greater elasticity of the physical frame of the young mother will be to
her advantage in enduring her peculiar share of the curse. (Gen. 3:16) Let
us not forget either the valuable experiences accruing to every proper
parent in his attempt to provide for and train his children.
These lessons may draw them to the Heavenly Father more quickly
than would any other, and that is the thing to be desired above all others
by the New Creation for their offspring.
Wise parents will not attempt to frustrate the natural desire of
their children for marriage, but, cooperating wisely, will endeavor with
their wisdom to aid them in mating properly.
And the properly trained are not likely to ignore the advice of the
loving and careful parent, in the most important transaction of the
natural life. However, at
such a [page 559] moment let not the indulgent parent forget that the
mating should be on the same plane—unbeliever with
unbeliever—justified with justified, sanctified with sanctified—as
already set forth. In other
words, if their sons or daughters be unconsecrated they are not to
endeavor to mate them with one of the New Creation, who should marry
“only in the Lord”; but are to recognize that such a union of diverse
natures would probably be disadvantageous to both, and at all events is
contrary to the divine injunction that his people marry “only in the
Lord.”
Stewardship
of Our Children’s Health
Parents will do well to remember that as clean bodies will assist
their children to clean minds, so healthy bodies are valuable adjuncts to
healthy minds. Every New
Creature should, with his “spirit of a sound mind,” be sufficiently a
philosopher to guide his offspring to the attainment and preservation of
as much physical health as their constitutions will permit.
Pure air, pure water, pure food and pure exercise, mental and
physical, are at the foundation of the best utilization of what we have
received from our parents and have transmitted to our children.
Every parent should know that foggy air is not “fresh air,” and
that so far as is compatible with reasonable ventilation it should be
excluded from the lungs; that indoor ventilation should include all the
sunshine possible, and that the delicate should not be out in the damp
atmosphere of the early mornings and late evenings.
He should note the cleanliness of all vessels, etc., connected with
the water supply and inculcate scrupulous care.
He should see to it that every child has some prescribed work to do
proportioned to its strength and years, and that he does it well and
carefully; and this work should be partly physical and partly mental.
The character of the reading and studying, no less than that of the
physical labor, should have close inspection, and should change from time
to time—for the proper rounding out of mind and body, in preparation for
[page 560] the various duties of life.
The child should realize the parental interest in him, and should
know that it is prompted by love for his future
welfare and is of divine obligation.
The proprieties of eating are sadly misunderstood and this
undoubtedly is the cause of much disease—mental and physical.
Every parent should know that foods may be divided into three
classes:
(1) Those foods highly nitrogenized, which go to build up flesh,
muscle, sinew. Of these are
flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, peas, beans.
Of such food five ounces daily is esteemed a full ration for an
average man in an average occupation—children proportionately less.
These foods are injured by too much cooking.
(2) Those foods composed largely of starch and sugar, which supply
the nervous energy—vigor, activity, vim, heat.
Of these are wheat, potatoes, corn, oats, rice, and their various
products—bread, crackers, puddings, etc.
These should be freshly cooked and well cooked to be most
nutritious and easy of assimilation—and this in proportion to the
natural weakness of the digestion. In
our day of machinery and easy travel the wear and tear on nervous energy
is much greater than upon the muscular fiber; hence food of this kind
should be eaten in much larger quantities than the first named.
The ration for an average man would be twenty ounces per
day—growing children requiring a little more than a proportionate
quantity because of their intense activity of mind and body.
(3) Those foods—fruits and vegetables—which, composed chiefly
of water, are rich in bio-chemic salts, have a great value.
Not only do their salts of lime, potash, etc., assist in
bone-making and as nerve foods and regulators, but their watery fibrous
elements (as in cabbage, turnips, etc.), which contribute nothing to our
nourishment, assist in scouring and cleansing the bowels and thus keep the
more concentrated richer foods from clogging in the system.
Some of these, such as squash, beets, sweet apples, etc., have also
nutritive value proportioned to their sweetness.
And some, strongly acid, act as thinners and purifiers of the
blood. Of [page 561]
these are grapes, sour apples, lemons, oranges, etc.
Of liquid in some form — milk, soups, or watery fruits and
vegetables, or plain water itself, an average man should use at least five
pounds (equal five pints) daily—children proportionately. The food
contains enough liquid for meal times.
The drinking of water should be done an hour or more after meals.
These figures show that most people use far too little water and
vegetables.
It should be remarked, further, that many of the articles set down
amongst the starchy foods (wheat, corn, oats, etc.) contain also
nitrogenous qualities—so that where necessary for the sake of economy or
for any reason a purely vegetable dietary could be arranged at a very
small cost that would nourish the family well, in brain, brawn and vigor.
An uneven balancing of these foods (especially of the second, the
most important) tends to disease—either oversupply causes the blood to
become too rich and sluggish and causes pimples and boils, or a
dark-coated tongue and headache and gout, and leads to a stuffy cold; or a
deficiency of nourishment to meet the demands of nature causes weakness,
nervousness, a white-coated tongue, and is apt to lead also to a cold.
Children should be taught to note their own symptoms and eat
accordingly—to counteract disease at its inception, or preferably to
prevent it by moderation and good judgment at the table.
But all have not alike sound judgment in such matters; hence all
the more should the parents, who by God’s grace have the “spirit of a
sound mind,” so regulate and proportion and alternate the food supply of
their tables that eaters thereat might have little need for special
carefulness or selection—the variety being rather by rotation than by
many kinds at one time.
We are not advocating a “fad,” nor seeking to divert the minds
of the New Creation away from the spiritual food and to fasten it upon
physical health and what shall we eat, what shall we drink, etc...after
which things the Gentiles seek. No;
we are seeking chiefly the spiritual.
But while our minds and conversation are dealing specially with the
spiritual, it is our duty to use the soundest judgment we possess [page 562]
in the care of our children, committed to us by
God’s providence.
A word in conclusion on this matter of diet.
Horses and cattle eat without apparent mentalization—good or
bad—and some of the brutalized members of the human family do the same,
but they are few. Hence at
every meal there is apt to be something to excite either pleasant or
unpleasant sentiments—love, joy, peace, hope, etc., or anger, malice,
hatred, strife, etc. Mental
moods are now recognized as having a powerful influence upon digestion.
By some alchemy, not clearly understood, the excitement of an angry
and malicious mood affects the nerves so as to interfere with digestion,
while cheerful and happifying influences act in the reverse manner. The New Creature, himself, may inwardly preserve his “peace
of God” under multitudinous unfavorable surroundings, but not so others:
hence if he be the responsible head of a family it is his duty to look
after the peace of the household by so far as possible keeping the table
converse upon pleasant and profitable if not religious topics.
When committing the interests of our own health and that of our
children to the Lord we should be sure that to the best of our ability we
are using as
wisely as possible the blessings and privileges already bestowed
upon us. Then, and not
otherwise, may we appropriate to our comfort the assurance that all things are working for our
good.